in the arsehole of diogenes

NEO-HERACLITUS_____________Qweir Notions in the arsehole of Diogenes: weBlog of a septuagenarian Binge-thinker since February 2008.

Friday, 15 December 2017

I have just read

in a thriller
that mouse-droppings soon sink
in a bowl or jar of the ubiquitous,
white, crystalline poison called sugar.
But dog-hairs stay on top.

Thursday, 14 December 2017

Time is mostly blood and shit -

don't stab it -
strangle it gently and well.
Rinse your hands in piss.
Escape from the miasma
of being and being human.
Close your eyes while doing so:

we do too much looking
and not enough considering
we do too much hearing
and not enough listening
too much feeling
and not enough fellow-feeling
especially not for 'animals'
not for the downtrodden spirits.

Wednesday, 13 December 2017

Writing as a dog,

I don't believe
that there is such a thing as Time.
There is only The Moment.


Tuesday, 12 December 2017

The (liberal) Left,

loving to define people as winners, highly undeserving winners,
losers and victims -
then by minority status, ethnicity, colour, religion, and sexuality -
fails to see that they continually create division
by obsessive definition, addition and subtraction.

Monday, 11 December 2017

One of my most-persistent Earworms.

Until recently, I was slightly embarrassed
by frequently humming the catchy melody of
the Horst Wessel Lied, notorious anthem of the Nazis.

But I have discovered that the tune pre-dated Hitler,
accommodating World War I lyrics such as
Vorbei, vorbei, sind all die schönen Stunden (Gone are all the Lovely Moments)
and the Königsberg-Lied,
(Königsberg is now in the Russian enclave of Kaliningrad
between Poland and Lithuania)
and, later adopted for a Communist marching-song,
was probably of Viennese origin.
So now I hum the tune - wondering what Johannes Brahms
would have done with it...

Saturday, 9 December 2017

Józef Teodor Konrad Korzeniowski's

horrible journey up the Congo River
took seven weeks in the boat named Roi des Belges -
(the appalling Leopold, King of the Belgians, who took the Congo
for its unlimited slave labour, rubber and ivory
as his lucrative private fiefdom).
Years later, Joseph Conrad (as he is now known)
took just seven weeks to write
Heart of Darkness.

In the 1920s The French Republic disposed of roughly 10,000 Africans
(mostly from Oubangi-Chari, now the Central African Republic)
to build the railway from Brazzaville (on the other side of the river
from Léopoldville, now Kinshasa) to the coast.
Ironically, Pietro Paolo Savorgnan di Brazzà was a believer
in the equality of people and peoples, which is why the capital
of the People's Republic of the Congo is still called Brazzaville.

Friday, 8 December 2017

My Good Deed for the Day

was to send a staggering €15 to Jimmy Wales
to help keep Wikimedia afloat.
In my accompanying PayPal message I expressed amazement
that Google with its billions cannot subsidise one of its most popular

Apart from being one of the most atrocious butchers of all time,

all we need to know about the strutting megalomaniac Napoleon I
is his comment :

The greatest woman alive or dead
is the one who produces the most offspring.

The Code Napoléon oppressed and handicapped France
for 150 years.
Women didn't get the vote until 1945.

Thursday, 7 December 2017

The Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave : Alligator Bait

"A brief video on the use of black babies 
as live alligator bait in Florida in the early 1900s brought me here" :

Wednesday, 6 December 2017


Happy Hundredth Birthday, Finland!

The great François Couperin said:

 "J'aime mieux ce qui me touche que ce qui me surprend."
I'd rather be moved than be amazed. 

Worth pondering, in our age of great amazement and false emotions.

Tuesday, 5 December 2017

To be planted out.

are flowers for the dead in France,
for they are in bloom on All Souls' - All Hallows - Day.
My mother loved chrysanthemums.
I too loved their russet colours and the mysterious
erotic smell that they don't have in France.
Every autumn there was a big cut
bunch of them in our narrow hallway, bought
from a seedsman, nurseryman who lived just 50 yards
from where she was born, and later taught
(and later still was buried),
and whom she'd taught when first he went to school.
Her birthday was on the third of November, 1907.

This past third of November I stole
one of hundreds of to-be-neglected
and wind-scattered pots
of gold-and-russet remembrance-chrysanthemums
from the pleasant little cemetery
where my periwinkle-covered grave awaits,

and placed it on my balcony.

Monday, 4 December 2017

« L'érotisme,

c'est donner au corps les prestiges de l'esprit.  »
Georges Perros

English: "Eroticism accords the body all the prestige of the mind."

Comment: Eroticism is not love, nor is it sex, but arousing sensuality.

Sunday, 3 December 2017

“When we are headed the wrong way,

 the last thing we need is progress.”

Nick Bostrom, Swedish philosopher, in “Perfection Is Not A Useful Concept”, The European Magazine, 13.06.2011

Saturday, 2 December 2017

"Stinking rich"

most likely refers to the smell
of the rotting teeth in their mouths,
from eating sugar, white bread and cake.
The silver spoons put into their mouths
as babies did not protect them.
The poor were reduced to selling
their teeth which were healthy
from eating rough bread and ....ation
(though their gums were destroyed by starvation).

The rich also stank in courtrooms.
They feverishly chewed garlic, caraway, cardamoms
to prevent infection from the breath of the poor
whom they sent off to New England
then to New South Wales
for petty larceny - for the jails
were even more crowded than they are today
in England and the U.S.A.

Friday, 1 December 2017

"Without fiction, we poison ourselves...

...on the lies of the first person."

Richard Flanagan, author of The Narrow Road to the Deep North
and First Person.


(PS  Today I wrote the blog that will appear on the first of February)

Thursday, 30 November 2017

What I had for dinner tonight,

(by Astérix, the blogger's dog,
with just a little help from his Editor and slave)

I had:
Sautéed leeks with farce (forcemeat, raw of course)
moistened by a local free-range egg,
a Brussels sprout or two
(Que Dieu bénisse les Bruxellois!),
a few roast chestnuts,
a couple of stewed plums.
and what was left on plates
and serving dishes.
It wasn't enough.
But it was delicious.

Tuesday, 28 November 2017

My Cheap Solution

to the Irish Border/Brexit problem:
give every anti-Irish Ulster family
a million pounds
to go and colonise the Sinai.

Five hundred years

since irate Martin Luther
let loose a century of havoc
with his 95 Theses,
still we have heard nothing
about his delightful dog
and his 95 feces.

The turbulent doctor had a dog named Tölpel
(which was apparently a synonym for “Dummkopf”),
and wrote:

“The dog is the most faithful of animals and would be much esteemed were it not so common. Our Lord God has made His greatest gifts the commonest.”

Monday, 27 November 2017

As old as Adam - and language.

There was always "fake news".
The Old Testament,
The New Testament,
The Blood Crime of the Jews.

Sunday, 26 November 2017

There is only one person

whom I respect and like
more than even any dog.
Here are both of them:

And here is the dog.

Friday, 24 November 2017

A comment on civilisation.

A society governed arbitrarily perfectly resembles a herd of cows
placed under a yoke for the service of a master.
He feeds them just enough to put them in condition to serve.
He treats their illnesses only enough to keep them useful.
He fattens them only in order to feed off of them,

and he uses the hides of some to harness others to the plough.

Une société d'hommes gouvernée arbitrairement ressemble parfaitement à une troupe de

ufs mis au joug pour le service du maître.
Il ne les nourrit qu'afin qu'ils soient en état de le servir;
il ne les panse dans leurs maladies qu'afin qu'ils lui soient utiles en santé;
il les engraisse pour se nourrir de leur substance;
et il se sert de la peau des uns pour atteler les autres à la charrue.

Voltaire (1694-1778), Republican Ideas by a Member of the Corps, II

Thursday, 23 November 2017

Dylan Thomas was an arrant wordsmith.

Darkness is sweet.
Why rage against the dying of the light ?
Why burn and rave at close of day ?
Those who fight their end are mad.
Why should old men not be glad
they're slipping creakily away ?

Wednesday, 22 November 2017

Assuming that time is not an illusion,

all life is a waste of it.

As the time-dependent Schrödinger wrote :

Tuesday, 21 November 2017


from water- and willy-worship to esoteric Buddhism
is just a means to justify our self-importance as a species
if not as individuals.

Monday, 20 November 2017

Fear of death

is experienced only by those
who know they haven't lived.

There is of course only one way to live:
as we did for 99% of our existence as a species.
This is now - and only recently become - impossible.

The Earth is not afraid of death
even though, strictly speaking,
she is not immortal.
                          (second half)

My country, too, is the world...

...but I'll have no monument.

Sunday, 19 November 2017

18 April 1999

I made a rubbing:
"The Pope gives a computer-expert a pedicure."
Eva finished painting her series of "Holy pictures."

from An Alchemist's Nightmares,
extracts from Jan Švankmajer's diary.

Saturday, 18 November 2017

On the removal from power of .Robert Mugabe,

President of Zimbabwe for the last 37 years,
let us not forget Francisco Macias Nguema,
first president of Equatorial Guinea (formerly Rio Muni plus Fernando Pó and other islands),
who had a huge collection of human skulls in his mansion,
and replaced crucifixes in churches with his own image.
He abolished all education in 1974, executed and maimed civil servants,
and on his overthrow tried to flee with the entire paper currency of the country in a suitcase...

The insanity of categorisation.

"The dandelion is not a small plant,
but ‘a large tree with no investment in trunk,
major branches, or perennial roots’."

Aren't there more important things to reflect on -
such as how silly (as well as destructive) it is to be human ?

Friday, 17 November 2017

Today's Ear-worm

surprised me.  Usually fragments of Brahms
or Chopin repeat in my brain all day and all night,
drowning out the occasional tinnitus -
but today, out of nowhere, came a creepy song
from a 1954 film I never saw :

...Many men have tried to split us up, but no one can.
Lord help the mister
who comes between me and my sister -
And lord help the sister
who comes between me and my man.

Thursday, 16 November 2017

One of the many reasons I chose to immigrate from Northern Ireland to south-west France

is that I have always disliked - even been ashamed of - my surname:
Weir pronounced wɪər
(which has nothing to do with water,
but is an Anglicisation of the county Donegal surname Maguire
[Irish: Mac Uídhir],
for many of that name fled starvation in North-Western Ireland
to wage-slavery in Lowland [Lalland] Scotland.

In French, however, this mean-sounding, Lallands name
sings sweet and sexy:
vɛjʁ - to rhyme roughly with layer as pronounced in Louisiana.

(I'm sure y'all are grateful for this information.)

Wednesday, 15 November 2017

English as a Foreign Language.

Examination question in Colloquial English :

"It is less unpleasant to be goosed by a dog
than to be dogged by a goose."  

Discuss this statement, mentioning any ambiguity that you may notice or intuit.

Tuesday, 14 November 2017

Next time you fail to steal something

from a corner-shop, "convenience store", supermarket, or food-hypermarket,
remember that they and their employees are part of a web
of the most organised and legally-protected drug-pushers in the world.
The slave trade was founded on sugar, not cotton.
The sugarless and scrawny poor had to sell their teeth to the tooth-rotten
(hence 'stinking') rich
in order to survive in terrible, gum-infected misery.
I was made aware over 70 years ago that sugar was a dangerous substance,
but was not discouraged from ladling it on to my porridge, nor from eating sweets.
It is perhaps the most instantly-addictive of all substances.
Saccharin (invented in the late 19th century) became a popular substitute for sugar
during World War Two, and in the 1960s was perceived as 'less fattening'.
But saccharin has consistently been trashed by the 'sugar lobby'
seizing on bad science which suggested it was carcinogenous.

Sugar is not needed even in jam, which requires only pectin
to make it set, not the caramelisation of sugar,
which should be taxed and labelled like tobacco products.

(Then there's salt, and doubly-refined carbohydrate, and "food"
consisting of doubly-refined carbohydrate, salt and sugar
sold quite legally by some of the most powerful conglomerates in the world...)

Monday, 13 November 2017

To the ever-expanding acronym


I wish to add another letter :

N - for Necrophiliac,
the most harmless of sexualities
apart from committed self-induced orgasm.

Sunday, 12 November 2017

Since the latest

Windows 10 compulsory "update"
I can't access the internet;
I can receive Outlook messages, but not send any...
so I have decided to go Back to Basics.

 ("The Free World" ? Kiss my furry arse!)

Cars of my dreams.

There are two.
I can't decide between
the pre-war Scripps-Booth Tricycle
with wooden rear wheels,

and the  Peel Trident bubble-car
made on the Isle of Man
(which I used to be able to see quite often
from my home in the County Down).

"A completely new design from the earlier side-engined Peel P50 microcar,
the Trident was manufactured in 1965 and 1966."


Saturday, 11 November 2017

Two great talkers of the last 75 years

are richly represented on YouTube:

Orson Welles

and John le Carré

Both have beautiful bass-baritone voices
quite apart from their flowing and gently self-mocking intelligence.

Friday, 10 November 2017


is a very small town in the remote west of Ireland
which has a road called Mosque Road
leading to Ireland's first custom-built Islamic place of worship.


Thursday, 9 November 2017

Message to Busy People.

Death may well turn out to be
the luxurious cessation
of a whole lifetime of

Wednesday, 8 November 2017

Any kind of authority

de-personalises the person who grabs
(or is awarded) it.  And that person
de-personalises all those who are subject
to his or her authority.

In England, a black or bearded Muslim-looking person is 17 times more likely
to be Stopped-And-Searched quite legally by de-personalised policemen,
no matter how well-dressed or even how well-known s|he is.

Why, in that shameful country, has there arisen no Buddy-service,
where bleached, Caucasian people accompany those with beautifully-coloured skins
and insist that the harassing policemen search them as well as their Buddy ?

Monday, 6 November 2017

from Rules of Conduct for Men in High and Low Places & Positions of Power.

'When a lady is bearded
she should be treated as a lady
and not as a beard.'

- Poets Ranked by Beard Weight, Commemorative Edition.
ISBN 978-1-61608-245-1

Surely two of the greatest lines in English literature :

"On the smooth brown hair was a hat that had been taken from its mother too young."
                                 - Raymond Chandler, The Little Sister.

"What would we want with dung at our time of life ?"

                                             - Samuel Beckett, All That Fall.

Sunday, 5 November 2017

Úlf Nilsen on interpreting Beethoven:

"I find it slightly curious - as a blind performer - to play music by a deaf composer."

Saturday, 4 November 2017